You Let Hurt Go
by Dancinstar
Summary: Max and Logan's relationship comes to a turning point. (Completed story)


Disclaimer: We all agree that I do not own any of these characters or any aspect of Dark Angel, right? If not, just nod your head yes and humor me, because I promise that I don't.  
  
A/N: This is my first story that I've ever posted, so please review and let me know what you think. But don't be too harsh if you hate it.  
  
  
  
1.1 You Let Hurt Go  
  
We had always talked about going on a vacation one day. A weekend away from the stress and chaos of Seattle would have been absolutely wonderful. There was that time we'd spent in Cape Haven, but we ended up doing more Eyes Only work than relaxing. Plus we weren't even "together" then. Once we did get together, it seemed like we just hit one problem after another and could never find the time for a weekend getaway. We've finally found the time. But now everything's changed.  
  
*She grabs her magazines  
  
She packs her things and she goes  
  
She leaves the pictures hanging on the wall  
  
She burns all her notes*  
  
About two years ago Logan and I became an official couple. I say official only because Original Cindy is convinced we were together long before then, but we just wouldn't admit it to ourselves. Contrary to her belief, it really began on the night of our first anniversary. After a year of fighting our fears, doubts and self-esteem problems, we finally gave in and shared an amazing, optimistic kiss. That kiss quickly evolved into a beautiful romance.  
  
*She knows she's been here too few years to feel this old*  
  
We were so passionate together. Logan was someone I could trust with everything. He saw me for who I really am, not what I was created to be. Not to mention he was so damn hot. Hell, he still is. During the first year and a half of our relationship we were practically inseparable. I spent many, many nights over at his place and not just because of the hot water or gourmet food. Cindy used to make little comments about how much time we spent together and how we were probably banging the gong every night. For once, I didn't even mind. But even though my bike had its own spot in the garage next to the Aztec and the bathroom held as much of my stuff as it did Logan's, I could never convince myself to live with him.  
  
*He smokes his cigarette  
  
He stays outside till it's gone  
  
If anybody ever had a heart  
  
He wouldn't be alone*  
  
Eight months ago thing really started going downhill. Logan wanted us to become more serious, but he knew I was too afraid. With my past I just couldn't commit to forever. So he settled for being my boyfriend until I was ready for him to be more. But that never happened. Instead, I pushed him away and tried to avoid what I thought would be the end of me. The more I pushed, the more resentful and bitter Logan felt. Our relationship went from being based on love to existing because of its normalcy. We held on only because it was comfortable. However, there comes a point in time when the comfort just isn't worth the unhappiness anymore.  
  
*He knows she's been here too few years to be gone*  
  
Then last week Logan uncovered a rumor about a girl in Sacramento who can jump high fences and run incredibly fast. At first I thought it couldn't be true. No X-5 would be stupid enough to openly show their abilities. However, Logan managed to pull up some more concrete information about her. He also reminded me of the not so few times I've used my own abilities in plain view for one reason or another. So, I figured if the story was true, she probably had a good reason to do it. Which meant we needed to go to Sacramento and check it out. After all, it would be a nice vacation for us, right? Logan thought otherwise.  
  
*And we always say it would be good to go away someday  
  
But if there's nothing there to make things change  
  
If it's the same for you I'll just hang*  
  
  
  
The day of our trip, Logan was over at my place helping me get ready. The morning weather was calm, though the sky had turned an ominous shade of gray. As I began to throw some clothes into my suitcase I caught him glaring at me. I'd never seen that look on Logan's face before. His eyes were drooping, sad. His mouth was twisted into a bizarre frown, and he appeared to have something heavy on his mind. I only wish he'd kept his mouth shut.  
  
"Maybe you ought to just go by yourself," he stated.  
  
I caught his glare and held it. "Why? I thought you wanted to get away from Eyes Only for awhile."  
  
He broke eye contact and sat down on the bed. "We need some time apart, Max. You should go to Sacramento alone and get to know your sister without having me around." He took my hand and pulled me down next to him. Not a good sign. "Neither one of us is happy anymore. We haven't been happy for a long time."  
  
Damn him. He was absolutely right. It's not like I didn't know it was coming, though. I just wanted to ignore reality for as long as possible.  
  
*The trouble, understand, is she got reasons he don't  
  
Funny how I couldn't see it all  
  
Till she grabbed up her coat*  
  
  
  
"So if I go off to Sacramento, what are you going to do?"  
  
  
  
"I don't know. I'll probably just work." His hand gave mine a tiny squeeze. "Blah blah, woof woof, right?"  
  
  
  
I could feel his eyes on me, begging for a response. Though all I did was sit there, speechless. I know, I know, Max Guevara could never be speechless. Any moment now a sarcastic remark was going to escape from my lips. But it never did. Five minutes passed before another word was said.  
  
  
  
"So this is it for us, huh?" I whispered to him. I already knew the answer. I just had to hear him say it.  
  
"I don't really see another option," he replied. Me neither. I'm not ready for a strong commitment. Too much danger in it. And if I'm not ready with Logan, I doubt I ever will be.  
  
"And what about Eyes Only?" I asked. In other words, do you want me out of your life completely?  
  
"I think we can still manage to work together. Maybe even be friends."  
  
I let out a small laugh. "That's such a cliché."  
  
"But it's true." He turned my head towards his to regain eye contact. "I do love you Max. I always will. But love by itself doesn't cut it for me anymore. We've been holding onto this relationship for too long. It's time to let go."  
  
*And she goes, she's been here too few years to take it all in stride  
  
But still it's much too long to let hurt go, you let her go*  
  
  
  
He wiped away my tears with his thumbs and kissed me a final time. It was a gentle kiss, but I could still feel his regret. Then he stood up, walked out the door, and was gone. Just like that.  
  
"I love you too, Logan," I declared to the wall. "Goodbye."  
  
*And we always say it would be good to go away someday  
  
But if there's nothing there to make things change  
  
If it's the same for you I'll just hang  
  
The same for you I'll always hang*  
  
The sun set over Seattle as I finished packing. I scribbled a note for Cindy and left it on the counter. Who knows how long I'll be gone. I'm not even sure I'll come back this time. All I know is I have to get the hell out of this city. Maybe it wasn't a vacation from Seattle we needed after all. Maybe it was a vacation from each other.  
  
*Well I always say it would be good to go away  
  
2 But if things don't work out like we think  
  
And there's nothing there to ease this aching  
  
If there's nothing there to make things change  
  
If it's the same for you I'll just hang*  
  
  
  
**********  
  
  
  
Just in case you're wondering, the song is called "Hang" by Matchbox 20. 


End file.
